Chiropractor & the Most Painful Massage Ever

My back pain problem has been bothering me for more than 6 months now. I finally took my friend’s suggestion and went to a chiropractor last Saturday.

I went to a clinic in San Gabriel, thinking it might be a Chinese chiropractor. Turned out the doctor was still an English speaking doctor. He first told me to stand straight and he observed my posture from the side. He immediately noticed my neck was protruding and my arms slightly curved in, a very typical posture problem for people who sit in front of computer all day long. He also noticed one of my legs is shorter than the other.

To proceed with the adjustment, he began by folding my arms in front of my chest and pushed me against the wall. I heard my spine cracked loudly, which made me screamed out loud. Then he had me lie down on my side and twist my upper and lower body around. I could only hear each joint on my spine cracked one by one….ouch. Just when I was still recovering from the shock, he quickly twist my neck left and right. Ouch, ouch, double ouch……

After the adjustment, I did feel my neck loosen up a lot and I could actually turn my neck around without any pain. According to him, my legs are at equal length too. He taught me a couple exercises that I could practice at home to adjust my posture. He said the most important thing is to watch my posture, eat healthy diet and exercise regularly. Spinal problem could cause circulatory problems and heart disease, as well as arthritis. So I really need to make sure I have a healthy body and correct posture.

Two days after the adjustment, I still feel very tense on my back. I think it’s because I really couldn’t relax my back muscle. So I thought I should go get a massage to help me relax my muscle.

I went to an American massage place and asked for Swedish massage, thinking it might be very comfortable. God knows, my masseuse is a Thai lady who has incredible strength. She gave me the most painful massage ever.

She used her elbow and knuckles trying to smooth out the knots on my back. She even used her feet to step on my back. I was already screaming out in pain, she still wouldn’t let go. During the whole time, she kept on telling me, “Oh, I like help people, you know. Your back is very hard. I need to push down the muscle.” She even dared to tell me, “Oh because you’re first time, I only used medium force.” Medium force!!?? I don’t know anyone who could stand her massage if she was using her full force. WTH! I paid my money so I can get a nice relaxing Swedish massage, not being tortured by you!

When I was paying at the front desk, I told the girl there that was the most painful massage ever. She looked at me sympathetically and said, “Yeah. She can make a big guy cry.” Urgghhh……next time I better avoid her.

Man oh man, now I feel like I have bruises all over my body and my back pain got even worse than before. Why am I doing this to myself? I felt like I wasted $45 to receive this kind of torture…..aiyaya….

我的背痛問題已經困擾我半年多了, 這中間試過針灸, 推拿, 練瑜珈都沒什麼用, 上週六終於聽了朋友的建議去看了chiropractor.

Chiropractor中文應該是脊椎骨醫師吧. 專門幫人家調整骨頭的, 在美國也算是熱門的醫科一門. 現代人花太多時間在電腦前面了, 許多文明病也隨之而來. 像我就是因為長期坐姿不正, 導致我現在頸部肩膀及背部時常容易酸痛. 不得不要去看醫生.

那醫師一開始叫我站直, 他從一旁觀察, 馬上就發現我的脖子向前傾, 雙臂向內彎, 十足的電腦族問題. 另外我一隻腳也比另一隻腳長. 他首先叫我雙手交叉在胸前, 使勁地用力把我靠牆壁一推, 我只聽到我的脊椎啪地一聲, 雖然只是一瞬間, 但我還是有感到疼痛的感覺, 害我不自覺叫出來.

接下來他又叫我側躺在診療椅上, 把我上半身及下半身用力地扭轉, 我只感覺到我的脊椎關節一節一節地啪啪啪地響, 那種感覺真是恐怖. 趁我還沒回過神, 醫師又迅速地左右扭轉我的脖子, 啪拉啪拉地, 扭完後我真慶幸我的脖子沒被扭斷. 不過整過以後我的脖子馬上感到鬆了許多, 之前不大能左右轉動, 現在已經可以輕鬆回頭了.

醫生教我幾個簡單的運動自己可以在家裡練習, 據他說我的問題其實還不是很嚴重, 可以靠自己來調整, 最重要的就是要注意自己的坐姿, 還要多運動, 注意飲食. 否則脊椎不正是很容易造成血液循環不良, 導致心臟病或關節炎等問題.

調過骨頭兩天後, 雖是有感到部分關節輕鬆許多, 走路坐椅子也不像從前一樣會痛, 但是被調過的地方多少還是會有點酸痛, 而且我發現我工作時還是太緊張了, 無法放鬆我的肌肉. 背部肌肉一直處於緊繃的狀態下, 怪不得背部一直持續的疼痛. 想想, 還是花點錢去給人家按摩, 看會不會舒服一點.

我選了附近一家美國按摩店, 想說做swedish massage應該會滿舒服的.

結果沒想到我竟碰到一個超恐怖的泰國按摩師, 個子小小的中年婦女, 力氣卻大得出奇, 她一聽說我有背痛的問題, 二話不說使出她全身的力氣想把我背上那些打結的肌肉壓順. 她運用了手肘, 指關節捏呀掐呀的, 似乎想把我全身壓出淤清. 最後還使用出腳的力氣使勁地踩我的背.

我的媽呀! 那真是我這輩子做過最痛苦的按摩了, 我都已經痛得在那邊哇哇叫, 她嘴巴還嘮叨不停 : “沒關係呀! 忍耐一下! 你只要把這些肌肉壓平就會感到好一點啦! 再一下就好啦!” 哇哩勒!!! 我付錢來按摩是希望能得到舒適的按摩, 不是來給你折磨的! 稍後她竟然又說 : “你第一次來, 我還只用了一半的力氣了, 不敢太用力!” 天呀! 這樣才一半的力氣!!! 我真不敢相信誰能忍受你用盡全部的力氣來按摩! 雖然人家都說有用力的按摩才比較有效, 但也沒必要這樣來折騰我吧!

在櫃檯付錢時, 我跟櫃檯小姐說那真是我這輩子最痛苦的按摩, 小姐同情地看我一眼說 : “對呀! 她力氣大到連大塊頭男生都會被她整得飆出眼淚來.” 我聽了臉都嚇白了, 下回知道最好離她遠一點. 再也不敢找她按摩啦!

唉喔…..現在覺得全身像被揍過似的! 酸痛不已! 可能需要兩三天才能恢復….唉….我真是沒事花錢買罪受!

1 thought on “Chiropractor & the Most Painful Massage Ever

  1. 邊看我真的是邊笑

Comments are closed.