Life is full of surprises

最近常常覺得人生無常, 很多難以預料的事情都會發生. 大概是我這輩子一直過得順順利利地, 很少大起大落, 發生事情時才會這麼措手不及, 不知道該怎麼反應.朋友勸我說: 人生就是要經過大風大浪, 才能夠珍惜平淡的生活.

他說得也對, 如果沒有經過困苦艱難,怎麼能夠體會擁有幸福的快樂呢?

Sick and Stressed

I think I’ve been posting the same topics over and over again. I get stressed, then I get sick. Such a bad cycle!

So for the last couple of days, I haven’t been feeling like myself. After sleeping for 7 or 8 hours, I still wake up feeling like I’ve never slept before. I’m sleepy and tired all day. I don’t even know where this fatigue comes from.

I think part of it is due to school-related stress. I have a very difficult semester by far. Homework/assignments due every week, plus at least 7-8 chapters to read every week. I’m so glad it’s Spring Break next week! At least I can take a short break.

I really need to get better soon. I know I said this to myself every single day but never take actions. But I realy need to start exercising and eat right in order to stay healthy!

最近不曉得怎麼回事? 每天明明睡了7-8個小時, 但是起床後卻感覺似乎沒有休息過的樣子, 整天精神不集中, 十分疲倦. 尤其是一開始看電腦螢幕就會開始頭痛.

我猜測這是最近壓力太大的緣故, 加上整天花太多時間坐在電腦桌前, 都沒有運動, 也沒有攝取均衡營養的飲食.

下個星期就是春假了! 我得利用這段時間好好休息一下, 調整自己的身體. 4月恐怕會更忙, 我需要更多體力來應付學校課業!

無題

昨天在整理書桌時, 發現了自己在大學時寫的幾篇日記, 才沒幾年, 卻感覺自己的心智好像蒼老了一些.

看著從前寫的一些朋友或學校之間的雜事, 發覺以前過的生活好單純喔, 每天只需要應付考試及功課.

現在雖然在工作賺錢, 有能力獨立養活自己, 卻恨不得能夠回到從前無憂無慮的生活.

以前的我能夠想像我今天的樣子嗎?

忽然覺得, 一天天長大, 卻也一天天失去什麼東西……

倦怠

最近不曉得怎麼搞的…

總是懶洋洋的…做什麼事都提不起勁…

上班總是打混, 學校功課也老是拖到最後一秒鐘才寫…

有點厭倦了一成不變,規律的生活…..

好想趕快放個長假喔…..

連續劇

最近一連看了許多韓劇及台灣偶像劇, 包括最近正在播的”深情密碼” (由仔仔及朴恩惠主演), 以及韓劇”春天華爾茲”. 兩部戲有個很大的共同點: 男女主角都是小時侯有一段純純戀情, 之後因為命運的捉弄而失去了連絡. 長大後又奇蹟似地再度重逢.

為什麼連續劇都喜歡設計這類情節? 不過, 雖然現實生活中不太可能有這類事情發生, 有人有過這種小時候念念不忘的朋友嗎?

我自己孩童時期並沒有那種刻骨銘心的愛情史. 不過有很多小時後的朋友長大失去了連絡. 偶爾想起來, 會念著說那個人現在在哪裡? 在做什麼? 他(她)近來還好嗎?

我覺得小時交的朋友許多都是很難忘的. 我很希望將來有機會與老朋友不期而遇的時候, 能夠看到對方幸福, 快快樂樂的活著~

Sick?

What’s wrong with me? I’ve been feeling nauseous, dizziness, and just tired since yesterday. I even took a day off to rest at home and slept the entire morning. But I still feel exhausted for some reason. Actually I couldn’t even sleep well…..been dreaming non-stop the whole night….woke up feeling like I’ve run the miles the entire time.

It could be the side effect from the medication I’m taking….could be that time of the month…..could also be something going around. I know a lot of people are also sick and some of them have similar symptoms as me. Whatever it is….I need to get better!

GRE

On the other hand, I’m taking GRE tomorrow..

Haa…not even nervous or worried now….I definitely did not study as hard as I should…oh well…. I guess I’ll just do the best I can tomorrow…

Hopefully the result will be satisactory…..

School Starts Again

Today is first day of school. As I watched loads and loads of students in backpacks walking across street to attend their first class, I suddenly felt nostalgic. I was just like them 2 years ago, one happy worry-free college student. All the happy memories from college came back to me….hmm….college is the best time in my life…

Summer Is Over

Wow, without realizing, summer is almost over! Next week school starts for USC students. I can see the usual quiet campus during summer suddenly became noisy and packed with new and returning students. Traffic is getting worse and it gets harder to find parking spots. Marching band began their practice for another new football season. Walking at different corner of campus, I can hear them banging the music loudly. Since my office is pretty close to the dorms, I can see the parents also began helping their kids move in. Luggage, suitcases and boxes laid out on the street next to the residential hall.

Summer is really over~

Cindy’s Funeral

This is the most depressing weekend ever. I flew back Friday night to Bay Area to attend my best friend Cindy’s funeral. I have never cried so much in a day before. But after spending some time with her family and seeing how strong they are, I felt much better.

Cindy’s family is Catholic. They held the funeral mass at a Catholic church near her house. She had a huge family, all of her uncles, aunts and cousins attended the funeral, as well as her high school/college friends and co-workers. The service was conducted in both Vietnamese and English. I couldn’t understand any of the songs they sang in Vietnamese, but they sounded very sad, and yet, brought out a bit of hope in everyone. A hope that Cindy is happy in the hands of God now, and hope that her family will stay strong together. At the end of the service, they opened up her coffin for people to see her and say their final goodbye. As I looked at her, I could tell she lost a lot of weight. She must have went through a lot of inner struggles before making the final decision.

After the mass, we all drove to the cemetery together at her burial site. This was the saddest part. As they slowly lower her coffin into the ground, her mother broke down and started crying loudly. It drove out many tears among the crowds. I couldn’t help it but let my tears slide down my cheek one by one and began to think about how Cindy was. If she could see this, she’ll probably regret that she ever made the decision of jumping down the bridge.

Afterwards, we were all invited to her house for some refreshments. Everyone went to her old bedroom to look at her pictures and share many happy memories we had with Cindy. We all remembered how Cindy liked to laugh, loved taking pictures, loved shopping and bought all those pretty dresses and shoes that she would never wear. Where ever she was, she was always the one making lots of noises. Along with her family, we laughed, cried and comfort each other together. At my amazement, her boyfriend and ex-boyfriend were there in the same room, sharing their happy stories when they were with Cindy. Her family did not blame either one of them, instead treating them as part of their family. At first, I thought Cindy killed herself because of relationship problems. But after seeing how her boyfriend still have great feelings for her, remembered each single word she said or things she did when they were together, I began to think maybe it was a combination of things that drove her to the end. Just like her cousin told us, there were too many factors and we may never know what went through her mind at that moment. The only thing we could do now is to pray that she’s at peace and she is ok now.

At the very end, her family gathered around in the living room and prayed together. They also asked people to share their thoughts and feelings. Instead of focusing on the past and trying to find out what happened, they decided to focus on the future and on how to build a better family together. As most other families, they have problems and conflicts before. The adults never listen to their kids because they think the children are still too young. The kids wouldn’t talk to their parents about their feelings either. After this incident, they’re willing to open up communication and become more accepting to new ideas. They would also like to listen and understand each other better. I thought it was really great that her family took a positive step after such a tragedy. Indeed, at times like this, family is always the best support. If later on I have my own family, I would like my children to communicate openly with me, treating me as their own friends so I can have a better understanding of them.